Lost

Have you even felt that you lost yourself? You don't remember what were you doing yesterday; you don't know what you are doing today; you don't see your future and you lost your direction for tomorrow. It all happens right before I graduated. I thought I will be better off after I graduated. Who's know I am still returning my colleges debt and the money I spent when my father pass away. He is not the one to be blamed; I am. I am just wondering is that anything big waiting ahead of me. I don't believe this is my life. I am poorer than 3 years ago, less happy than 3 years ago, less vacation than 3 years ago, less friend and family with me than 3 years ago, and older then 3 years ago. Does anything good happen within three 3 years. I had two kids, but they are both away from me. I got to go back three years ago. I got to get out of this mess. I need to move on. I need to find a way to live that I will be happy. My family will be happy. Everyone should be happy whether than suffer. I am just not moving on. I need to move on and I need motivation and I know the only motivation I can have is me- not even my son, my daughter, my debt, my father, my job or anything . Don't forget! Don’t compare! Don't compete! I need only to win and beat myself, no one else.